January 7

Today is just another day that i thought i would just stay at home hiding myself from the world outside. Even i have a new neighbour beside also i haven't meet them. I only can hear baby crying most of the time and it's torturing to my ear since my mind is already in a mess,too much noise will definitely destroy my brain. Anyhow it seems like i'm not interested to know them for now, is it true we need our neighbour?? For all this while there's no one here, no neighbours..it's quite normal for me...if i call for help also nobody will hear. So, do i need them now??I'm just tired that when i need someone, no one is there but i'm always there for people in need..sounds unfair.

I'm sorry it doesn't goes well because i'm angry with the baby crying..my friend said who knows in the future she maybe a singer or whatever..i don't care anyway. I also have the thinking what if in future my daughter or son crying like that..oh no!!too early to think...way too much to think..sounds annoying. I need a break from this life because i'm not happy.

Anyway how i look this morning?

Is that a real smile or just a fake one?

I think i'm getting more chubby,is it because i eat chewing gum or because my eating habit these days...i don't know.

Anyway i decide to go out with my cousin, we went to mcd so that she can surf the net while i'm studying. I eat spicy chicken mcdeluxe and ina take double cheeseburger(it's small)...total is RM19 and few cents..it's almost RM20..i't getting expensive nowadays, infact very expensive. The price of petrol is going down but how come they still charge more...sighh..but still alot more people come and eat there although economy is bad.

Around 4pm we went home...after talking so much and i feel better. Hopefully after i get home i'm able to study. Reach home, take shower, charge my laptop battery and start blogging. While i'm surfing the net i came across this:

"Breaking Up is Just a Normal Part of Life. So you will deal with it like everyone else. Yes, breaking up is difficult--but very, very few people end up spending the rest of their days with the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Like it or not, this is a normal part of teenage and adult life, and as much as it is painful, is part of life. Sometimes you will be the dumper, sometimes you might be the dumpee. We all have heartbreak. It hurts. But we all survive it, and you (and your ex) will too. Really. "

Is it true?? I'm sure most of doesn't want to go through that in life. I saw most people have go through that around me..so is my turn coming??Is it possible to stay single for the rest of my life. It sounds stupid. Anyway, what i want in life thats what i should know. I don't know where life gone bring me in future, i hope somewhere i can find success. Another 1 year plus too graduate..then starting my life officially as an adult where i must learn to earn myself and be able to buy things for my mother and bring her around the world..lol..she should know that i always say i will bring her.

Btw, today is january 7..means another 2 months i'm getting older..lol..it's just a number that going up right..everybody grow old somehow. Just hope this year i'l becoming more mature compatible with my age :P

I can't wait to finish my last paper on saturday and i start my hunting for new hp...hehe :)

Bedtime stories

It's been so long i didn't update my blog...time is not on my side. What's going on in my life recently...apart from my new look. New hairstyle...is it true if u wanna start a new leave, we must referesh everything...is't just a mitos for new spirit. Seriously i wanna feel like a new of myself.

before

Recently my hp got problem with the screen and about too weeks without it feels like part of my life is missing( i have to take pictures using my laptop). It happens i overslept due to the stupid phone the shop gave me. I have to skip class on that day. Anyway i'm not feeling good and i did purposely skip some class that i think can catch up myself later. Things doesn't go like i want it to be. Few days ago i went to see doctor and he says i'm healthy but i told him that i need something for my stress because i'm having all the symptoms. He told me to smile because most of the time my face shows that i'm tense. He said life is too short not to be happy. Anyway i told my mother that i have no reason to be happy. I can't even fake a smile. I believe when we are happy, it will glows from the inside and make the person look better. It's the natural beauty.

after

Even when i did facial treatment they give do massage for me and the girl says that i'm tense, because she can feel the muscles on my shoulder tight. I feel good after the treatment :)

I myself can't see the difference but i can feel, anyway i got good feedback from many people so means it works. The only thing im not satisfied is my weight. I've been eating alot since i feel the stress and i don't look good in my clothes now. This trimester break i need to do something with it. I just did my first final exam paper after struggling for about 1 week, i did my best already now it's on the lecturer's hand. Anyway the venue really cold and i'm freezing in there until my brain also freeze. Then i went jusco and eat 'bihun garing' and after that watch bedtime stories. I feel better beacause i manage to laugh out loud without thinking about exam (another paper this saturday). Still got few days to prepare. After movie went back around 4 something then i slept until 8...i'm in deep sleep, the mosquitoes also make noise near my ear i can just ignore but after that my hands all ichy. I wake up also because my mother wakes me up if not i think i'll continue then. After dinner watch tv for a while and online, find themes for my hp since i already get it back.

Right now i'm starting the engine for the next paper but other problems came in. I feel confuse but i don't want to think. Anyhow life has to move on. Songs only can be my friend most of the time. I heal myself by listening to songs. Once again i fell in love with this song because before this i feel bored already. The song is "On and on-by Nick Lachey".

When the darkness finds the night My heart still beat for you In your eyes I see the lie What can I do, I'll try my best to walk away So I don't have to feel the painIt goes on and on, on and on And this emptiness I feel goes on and on On and on As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on On and on When this love I feel for you is so strong On and on, on and on Why can't I feel your heartbeat next to mine The way it used to beI love that purpose that is so right I need you to see I try my best to walk away But I'll never escape the pain It goes on and on, on and on It goes on and on....