January 7

Today is just another day that i thought i would just stay at home hiding myself from the world outside. Even i have a new neighbour beside also i haven't meet them. I only can hear baby crying most of the time and it's torturing to my ear since my mind is already in a mess,too much noise will definitely destroy my brain. Anyhow it seems like i'm not interested to know them for now, is it true we need our neighbour?? For all this while there's no one here, no neighbours..it's quite normal for me...if i call for help also nobody will hear. So, do i need them now??I'm just tired that when i need someone, no one is there but i'm always there for people in need..sounds unfair.

I'm sorry it doesn't goes well because i'm angry with the baby crying..my friend said who knows in the future she maybe a singer or whatever..i don't care anyway. I also have the thinking what if in future my daughter or son crying like that..oh no!!too early to think...way too much to think..sounds annoying. I need a break from this life because i'm not happy.

Anyway how i look this morning?

Is that a real smile or just a fake one?

I think i'm getting more chubby,is it because i eat chewing gum or because my eating habit these days...i don't know.

Anyway i decide to go out with my cousin, we went to mcd so that she can surf the net while i'm studying. I eat spicy chicken mcdeluxe and ina take double cheeseburger(it's small)...total is RM19 and few cents..it's almost RM20..i't getting expensive nowadays, infact very expensive. The price of petrol is going down but how come they still charge more...sighh..but still alot more people come and eat there although economy is bad.

Around 4pm we went home...after talking so much and i feel better. Hopefully after i get home i'm able to study. Reach home, take shower, charge my laptop battery and start blogging. While i'm surfing the net i came across this:

"Breaking Up is Just a Normal Part of Life. So you will deal with it like everyone else. Yes, breaking up is difficult--but very, very few people end up spending the rest of their days with the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Like it or not, this is a normal part of teenage and adult life, and as much as it is painful, is part of life. Sometimes you will be the dumper, sometimes you might be the dumpee. We all have heartbreak. It hurts. But we all survive it, and you (and your ex) will too. Really. "

Is it true?? I'm sure most of doesn't want to go through that in life. I saw most people have go through that around me..so is my turn coming??Is it possible to stay single for the rest of my life. It sounds stupid. Anyway, what i want in life thats what i should know. I don't know where life gone bring me in future, i hope somewhere i can find success. Another 1 year plus too graduate..then starting my life officially as an adult where i must learn to earn myself and be able to buy things for my mother and bring her around the world..lol..she should know that i always say i will bring her.

Btw, today is january 7..means another 2 months i'm getting older..lol..it's just a number that going up right..everybody grow old somehow. Just hope this year i'l becoming more mature compatible with my age :P

I can't wait to finish my last paper on saturday and i start my hunting for new hp...hehe :)

Bedtime stories

It's been so long i didn't update my blog...time is not on my side. What's going on in my life recently...apart from my new look. New hairstyle...is it true if u wanna start a new leave, we must referesh everything...is't just a mitos for new spirit. Seriously i wanna feel like a new of myself.

before

Recently my hp got problem with the screen and about too weeks without it feels like part of my life is missing( i have to take pictures using my laptop). It happens i overslept due to the stupid phone the shop gave me. I have to skip class on that day. Anyway i'm not feeling good and i did purposely skip some class that i think can catch up myself later. Things doesn't go like i want it to be. Few days ago i went to see doctor and he says i'm healthy but i told him that i need something for my stress because i'm having all the symptoms. He told me to smile because most of the time my face shows that i'm tense. He said life is too short not to be happy. Anyway i told my mother that i have no reason to be happy. I can't even fake a smile. I believe when we are happy, it will glows from the inside and make the person look better. It's the natural beauty.

after

Even when i did facial treatment they give do massage for me and the girl says that i'm tense, because she can feel the muscles on my shoulder tight. I feel good after the treatment :)

I myself can't see the difference but i can feel, anyway i got good feedback from many people so means it works. The only thing im not satisfied is my weight. I've been eating alot since i feel the stress and i don't look good in my clothes now. This trimester break i need to do something with it. I just did my first final exam paper after struggling for about 1 week, i did my best already now it's on the lecturer's hand. Anyway the venue really cold and i'm freezing in there until my brain also freeze. Then i went jusco and eat 'bihun garing' and after that watch bedtime stories. I feel better beacause i manage to laugh out loud without thinking about exam (another paper this saturday). Still got few days to prepare. After movie went back around 4 something then i slept until 8...i'm in deep sleep, the mosquitoes also make noise near my ear i can just ignore but after that my hands all ichy. I wake up also because my mother wakes me up if not i think i'll continue then. After dinner watch tv for a while and online, find themes for my hp since i already get it back.

Right now i'm starting the engine for the next paper but other problems came in. I feel confuse but i don't want to think. Anyhow life has to move on. Songs only can be my friend most of the time. I heal myself by listening to songs. Once again i fell in love with this song because before this i feel bored already. The song is "On and on-by Nick Lachey".

When the darkness finds the night My heart still beat for you In your eyes I see the lie What can I do, I'll try my best to walk away So I don't have to feel the painIt goes on and on, on and on And this emptiness I feel goes on and on On and on As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on On and on When this love I feel for you is so strong On and on, on and on Why can't I feel your heartbeat next to mine The way it used to beI love that purpose that is so right I need you to see I try my best to walk away But I'll never escape the pain It goes on and on, on and on It goes on and on....

Interesting day.

Today is the last class for antenna and propagation, Mr. Muslim will give tips or maybe important thing to study for final. Anyway my mind packed with other things which is assignment for both subjects i took this trimester which due on sunday and monday. After class straight go to library and cracked my head to do the calculation. Time passes by my friend and I forgot that we haven't eat from morning. Anyway around 5 something i guess we finally decide to go back and eat. Since my friend is vegetarian today i let him choose the place so i follow him and we chit chat about many things. Eventhough i feel tension but i guess i did talk alot today. My friend returned my cpu that he repaired for me. I eat nasi goreng,quite nice and i'm full. Later i drop by at my cousin's house and we talk alot too. Around 8 only i go home. I feel better. Then my mother told me that she feel sad abit about something like didn't appreciate that she helped her. Anyway I did told her not to but she refuse to listen to me. Normally people say mother knows better but this time she's wrong because when I hate someone there must be a reason. I don't simply hate someone for nothing, "menghabiskan beras je"..lol..

Just now i watch reality show "Who wants to be a superhero"...today is the final, there are 3 of them, hyper-strike,defuser and hygiena. I guess defuser or hyper-strike will win at last defuser is the winner but Stan Lee always say there is no loser. Later i need to wake up early to register course. I guess there's no rushing because i still have 1 hour class on friday.

Fun day

Today there's new shop called sapura opening in campus so i decided to enter the class abit late to run for the early bird lucky draw. Since last night i'm quite dissapointed with midterm paper so i wanna have fun today. But too bad i only got lucky pen but its ok for the sake of fun. Interesting to see those mac products but expensive for me. Then i go to class, while the lecturer already started 30 minutes ago..inside the class also cannot understand and my hp also make problem. After class went to library a while then go fetch my cousin and go for lunch. Then go mp to send my phone for repair since still under warranty and luckily the girl gave me a hp to use while waiting for my hp. She said in a week..just wait..what else can i do..live has to move on. After that we go giant, i wanna go to acer shop asking about the warranty and then we eat ice cream. I thought wanna hang out long but i have to settle my lab report since tomorrow i will be busy with my class and another lab session. I sit at the libary until 6pm waiting for alvin to go pasar malam. So long didn't eat machi and soya bean...really full after that but we still but cendawan goreng because temptation. Overal i feel happy not stress anymore.

Pc Fair

Last friday pc fair is back in mahkota parade(mp) so i take this opportunity to find a laptop for myself. Anyhow i have to go by myself since everyone is busy but at last my mother pickup the phone and she will accompany me during lunch. The road so pack and i can't enter mahkota because the parking area is full and they temporary closed it. After second round i just wait at the roadside for a while until they open. Finally i can enter and i just park any "empty space" not "parking space". I just walk around...so many booth and they trying to attract customer by giving extra gift. From my observation the laptop prices are the same for different booth but the gift package make the different. As the customer i have the right to choose and i end up at a booth represents style vision sdn bhd. After getting some important information about laptop from my kk i decided for acer aspire4920.

The salesguy also very convincing when i ask more about the functions all that. Then when he gave the resit i saw his name. What a coincidence i meet my primary tuition mate. He also quite shock when i know where he's staying. Got advantage anyway due to this coincidence :)

There 3 packages to choose,he also recommend to take package B because can upgrade another 2GB RAM..so it will be 4GB.Last time my pc only 256GB RAM,sound so sad. Other things in the package are:-

keyboard protector

extended warranty..altogether become 3 years

notebook computerlock

travelling notebook bag

optical mouse

travel adaptor..although i dont need it for now

cds..

cleaning kit..

Not to forget it's windows vista home premium. Then i send my mother back to the bank. I went back home testing my laptop and the bad thing is i can't connect internet, it says invalid password...i've tried every single possiblities but i can't get. When i call Tm the guy said they will make report but supposely it can be done on the spot, i just don't understand. They spoil my day.

Kuala Selangor Trip

Last saturday i went for a trip to kuaa selangor organized by mmu tourism club. Before we to out destination which is firefly park we stop at sunway village first since firefly can only be seen at night. We depart from melaka around 9a.m. since someone wake up late so we the whole bus have to wait for him. We reach sunway around 11 something. First target is toilet then of course i must eat first before go shopping. I choose kenny rogers since it happens to be one of my favourite singer.

kenny rogers

this is my lunch..so nice :)

sky juice

Done first mission next is taking as much pictures as we can, since this is the first time alvin came here.

sunway lagoon i'm here :P

another picture

christmas tree :)

another christmas tree, i'm picking the decoration..shuu!!

sunway pyramid

Then we walk around looking for the perfect shoe but i couldn't find the right one. While walking still take pictures and we came to ice skating place. It's been so long i wanna try this, so many times i come here but never get the chance to play. Today is the day. School holidays rate is RM21 per person, gloves RM8 and stockings RM5...kinda expensive but for experience and can say my passsion too.

view from up

i'm ready :))

me :))


sempat lagi posing before returning the shoe



our main target for the trip

our dinner for the day

We left sunway around 4p.m. and suppose to go on a journey to kuala selangor for 2 hours++ but i think before 6 also reach already. Have to queue for toilet and not that clean, sorry i'm very particular on this. Then we walk around the park see where the boat, it seems scary to see the river suddenly wild imagination came of course crocodile..Then we had our dinner and waited until its dark then only we were allowed to go for the ride. There's a guy bought mosquito repellent and ofer to everyone, at first i thought i won't need it since i'm not the nosquito favourite but then i still use for precaution. We were given life jacket and get on the boat. We can't take the picture of the fireflies. The environment the was so quiet while on the boat. We went boat riding in the dark. Alot of fireflies we can see at the tree, like christmas tree. After we get down from the boat we can see the queue so long and surprisingly all are tourist from all over the world. This place is well known so i think they should ugrade the place. Finally time to go home..feel so tired. In the bus watching horror movie but its not scary at all so i slept but i can hear other talking non stop, i feel like asking them to sleep,don't u tired...reach melaka around 11 then my mother fetch me. Reach home take shower and eat bread and sleep.

How to be happy?

How to be happy?

Definitely everybody wanna be happy but how? Every day as i grow older more challenges i have to face. Sometimes i don't feel strong to go on. Apart from being lonely i'm not happy. Feel i'm lack of attention. Everybody is busy with their own things..i can't blame them too. Sometimes i feel life is so unfair, some poeple went through easy life but some went through hard life. Whether its fair or not i don't think i'm the right person to judge. Normally human never satisfied with what they have. Anyhow i'm not asking for impossible things...just a little bit of happiness because i can't fake a smile when i'm sad. I don't know who totalk to when i'm sad.

Is crying is the best solution?

I believe when i cry everything out i will feel better. If i can sell my tears i can be a millionaire by now. No matter how much i cry also it can't be healed. Why everybody go against me? Why i can't make my own decision? Is it i don't have the right to choose what i want? I just don't understand adult, i'm an adult but i'm referring to others who older than me. Just because they are older than me, they see world earlier than me that does not mean they always right. Since human do always make mistakes and we learn through that ever since we were young.

I hate rules..

Rules are meant to be broken...yes it is. Lately rules in campus got some changes and i don't feel uncomfortable. Today when i want to enter library around 1.30p.m. they wanna check my handbag. What can i bring in it, time bomb is it? Bottle canot bring in, anyway i'm gone drink there la, i do realize that i'm a civilized kind of person. I did ask the security why normally never check, she said we must check...not acceptable at all, they don't even know what they are doing. Today before 12 p.m. i enter library they never check also. Is it this rules just effective after lunch time..lol..so ridiculous. Then i do whatever stuff i suppose to do in library. When i go out also they wanna check, my handbag is small anyway which textbook can fit it. Feel like now library is the last place to go. The reason i bring handbag so that i don't have to leave mybag outside but they wanna to check, my things inside is personal anyway..i hate people touch my things. Do i need to ask am i look like a thief? I can buy what i want no need to steal, my parents give me money ok.


How to be happy like this? Small things they bring up. I don't know if after this they wanna control students outfit. Totally not acceptable.